I have nobody to share this with and I feel like I need to get this out of my chest.

Today was a bad day honestly. A situation happened that made me cry and stress so much, even though I tried my best.

I go to technical school (vocational high school) and one of the thing that is very important during education in that school is apprenticeship. Apprenticeship lasts a month and is necessary for us to go to.

Basically, I haven't found myself a place where I could have an apprenticeship, so I had to leave it for school to do it. I really didn't want my school to send me to a specific place, because I know how they treat students here and their workers.

I made myself an affirmation tape and affirmed a lot about my desired place to have an apprenticeship. Well, it did not happened. :/ I think the reason why is because I felt really anxious about being send to that one undesired place and kept thinking about how the school tells me they send me here (but everytime I thought of it I affirmed for a desired outcome, though).

The school manager was telling me off, because of someone else's mistake - someone fucked up in my case and they wrote wrong information about me on the list. She also was telling me off, because I told her I do not want to go to that undesired place. I felt really bad and wanted to just hide.

She told me to call a specific place, if I do not want to go to a place she was going to send me to. I did call, like a ten times and the owner did not pick up. :))) And I called to a place where I went to last year and they told me even if they wanted to take me, the couldn't, because the company was changing its owner. At this point I felt miserable, because I think it is better to just die than go to that undesired place (I know EVERYTHING about it, my two brothers went there). I felt like everybody turned their backs on me. I went home earlier, I told everything to my mother and I cried, because I didn't know what to do.

BUT, me and my mother met my aunt on our way to the shop and she is an owner of a company and said she will for 100% take me!!! She comforted me and told me there is no reason for me to cry. I feel so relieved.

Well, now let's just hope that the school manager will take that proposition and that she didn't tell about the whole situation to my supervising teacher, because he will tell me off, too (and it all wasn't even because of my mistake, I hate the person who made the list of apprenticeships :))))

It didn't turn out how I wanted, but it turned out even better than I wanted.

(I REALLY hope the school manager will take my proposition 🕯️)